Thursday, February 28, 2013

Joke du jour

This is too good not to share. Worth the read...

A Harley and a Jar of Vaseline

Joe wanted to buy a motorcycle.
He doesn't have much luck, until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it. The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It's shiny and in absolute mint condition.
He immediately buys it and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.
'Well, it's quite simple really,' says the seller, 'whenever the bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain.' (true story) And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.
That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there.
But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to tell you something about my family before we go in.' 'When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.'
'No problem,' he says.. And in they go. Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks. Dirty dishes.
They sit down to dinner, and sure enough, no one says a word.
As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word. So he reaches over and fondles her breasts.
Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table and screws her, right there in front of her parents.
His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.
He looks at her mom. 'She's got a great body,' he thinks. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, pulls down her panties, and screws her every which way but loose right there on the dinner table.
After she has a big orgasm, he sits down again.
Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, the Mom is pleasantly beaming.
But still.... Total silence.
All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.
Suddenly the father shouted. I'll do the fuckin' dishes!!

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

The brother's place

Got to hang out with my brother and his wife last weekend. Lizzie got
to see Joaney again. I haven't seen Lizzie in a while so it was nice
chatting with her. Can't believe she's teaching Zumba classes. I guess
since I remember her birth like it was yesterday I never really expect
her to do adult things. Had a really good time hanging out with the
family though. Confirmed: Joaney is really allergic to cats.

Monday, February 11, 2013

Dr. Oz ...Cholesterol

Wow, I've actually made 102 posts now! Crazy!

Anyway, just a quick post so I can have any friends reference this easily. Dr. Oz interviews some Doctors who really hit the nail on the head. I'm really surprised to see this interview. If you are struggling with weight, inflammation, diabetes, or heart disease, please just check out this video.This video follows the same train of though as an Ancestral / Primal lifestyle.

Sugar is the Enemy!

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Learning Paleo

For my friends sincerely trying to figure out Paleo. It's simple,
meat, veggies, water. You can sautee mushrooms, use sea salt and
pastured butter or ghee (clarified butter).
This is bison, sautéed mushrooms, shrimp cocktail, asparagus and
carrots. It took about 20 minutes and the willingness to invest in
one's self. I cooked tomorrow's meals at the same time (burger patties
and squash 45 min). 3 meals of quality that you cannot buy at a
restaurant made in 50 min. Beats spending the same money on
pharmaceuticals and still feeling like shit right?